Mother Catherine McAuley understood the need for kindness particularly in the care of the sick and the poor. She reminded her Sisters that “there are things which the poor prize more highly than gold, though they cost the donor nothing; among these are the kind word, the gentle, compassionate look, and the patient hearing of their sorrows.” [i] She also said, “I would rather be cold and hungry than that God’s poor should be deprived of any consolation in my power to afford them.” [ii] This sentiment came from her realization that in the poor she was serving Christ Himself.
kindness is its own healing remedy
Kindness is an essential but often misunderstood virtue. When understood correctly and applied in medicine, kindness is its own healing remedy, winning trust and opening the way for a relationship with those who perhaps have never experienced the healing balm of kindness in the past. The danger is to confuse kindness with being “nice”. “Nice” people may be kind, but sometimes if we worry too much about being nice, we become focused just on wanting other people to like us. There is no true kindness without truth, and speaking the truth with kindness can lead hearts to the Lord.
Hearts are changed by kindness
In the service of medicine, there are times when kindness is difficult. I remember one patient who struggled with some psychiatric issues and no matter what I offered to her or how I explained the course of her hospital stay, the response I received back was one of anger. She had a significant medical issue she was dealing with that could not be fixed in one day, but her desire was to have it remedied a certain way and to leave the hospital that same day. She was convinced that although I was a Religious I was only seeking money for the hospital by keeping here there longer. It took effort to respond to her with kindness instead of retorting back or responding with the same anger that she was pouring out at me. Thankfully, our hospital had a chapel and stopping there each day before rounds reminded me that it is Christ I serve in each patient, and as children of God each person I encounter deserves kindness. While I did not see it in this case, I have seen many hearts change over time when treated with kindness, as many have not had the experience of receiving kindness in their homes.
The Lord is at work in the truth
At times, also, as physicians we are asked by a patient to do something that may be immoral, bad medicine, or simply imprudent, whether it is in prescribing a certain medication or referring them for a procedure such as a tubal ligation or an abortion. It is not kindness and certainly not just to simply give in to this request in order to keep the patient happy or to do what they think would be better for them when we know this is not in accord with truth. Yet, we are presented with a unique opportunity in these moments to discuss the truth with them in kindness, to lead them to a deeper truth. Sometimes this is received, sometimes this is rejected, but always the Lord is at work in these moments.
When a day is long and it is a struggle to remain kind with those we meet, it can be helpful to ask our guardian angels and those of our patients to help us. They are always there to lead us and help us lead others to the Lord.
MOTHER TERESA
WASHINGTON, DC
JUNE 10, 1995
A Physician’s Prayer, anonymous
Prayed daily by Saint Mother Teresa
Dear Lord, The Great Healer,
I kneel before you, since every perfect gift must come from You. I pray, give skill to my hands, clear vision to my mind, kindness and meekness to my heart.
Give me singleness of purpose, strength to lift up a part of the burden of my suffering fellow men, and a true realization of the privilege that is mine.
Take from my heart all guile and worldliness, that with the simple faith of a child, I may rely on You. Amen. [iii]
Featured Image: “Mother Teresa.” WikiMedia Commons, April 20, 2021. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mother-teresa-3.jpg.
Small Image: Smith, Matthew John. “Mother Teresa.” WikiMedia Commons, November 18, 2018. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mother_Teresa_1.jpg.
[i] McAuley, Catherine. Retreat Instructions of Mother Mary Catherine McAuley. Westminster, MD: Newman Press, 1952.
[ii] Sisters of Mercy (1922). The Spirit of Mary Catherine McAuley, 33. Oklahoma City, OK: Mt. St. Mary’s Academy, 1922.
[iii] Saint Mother Teresa, MC an Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, MC. “Chapter 5: Visit the Sick.” Essay. In A Call to Mercy: Hearts to Love, Hands to Serve, 131–32. New York: Random House Large Print, 2016. A Physician’s Prayer, anonymous, prayed daily by Saint Mother Teresa
Posted May 27, 2021
